All was planned for another hair raising expedition on the Motherlands beloved west coast, taking in 'The Saddle and the Forcan Ridge', 'Five Sisters of Kintail' and over to Skye to knock off 'Sgurr Alasdair' but behold... in M.W.I.S we trust and the forecast was abysmal beyond belief, which nudged us in the direction of the Cairngorms. In fact it was the only part of the country that wasn't covered in hill fog, low cloud, heavy rain and violent winds.
Never been to the Cairngorms before, never really felt the urge always viewed them as unattractive conical hills lacking the narrow ridges, rocky crests and spectacular situations that we invariably find ourselves in anywhere between Glencoe and Cape Wrath. However now we have a choice 1. Go home or 2. Explore a tiny segment of this gargantuan 200 square mile plateau that never drops below 810 metres! Well my mind goes to a 2nd century Roman poet, Epictetus who wrote ''If I was a nightingale I would sing as a nightingale, if I was a swan I would sing as a swan'' point being, every area has its beauty, the Cairngorms is just different to the west coast but I'm sure it still has its unique features. It would be like comparing a Haydn string quartet to a Lutoslowsky symphony they are totally different but both have their strong features. I think we're staying!
The personnel for this expedition was the classic 'top gear' line up, Tom ''Clarkson'' Bertins, Chris ''Hammond'' Dickinson and Mark ''Captain Slow'' Ingram. Never fails to amaze me how this unit bounces off each other so closely resembling the timeless TV programme, complete with characteristics and personality traits. Tom with his well researched and substantiated opinions but always willing to acquiesce if deemed necessary, Chris the intelligent one (A level maths), intelligence can sometimes come in handy, and Mark who is... slow!
Due to the fact that we decided to do the Cairngorms at the eleventh hour, this expedition had all the hallmarks of an unplanned trip. We were unsure of what to take on the first stage of the journey, Tom apparently didn't even have a tent. On the ground it was fairly family friendly hence quite crowded with lots of way markers and information boards, the hills were still fairly sparse. Because it was so crowded we felt uneasy about leaving our excess tackle in the bothy or in tents. The bothy as it turns out wasn't really a bothy, I suppose technically it was but I always think of a bothy as being in some isolated wild spot that requires hours of foot slogging hard graft circumnavigating desolate hills and slopes until finally when you think its vanished off the face of the earth a chimney comes into view and you're so elated. This one was only a couple of miles down a good track, you could have driven a bus to its front door! Ryvoan is its name.
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| Ryvoan Bothy |
We ended up ditching our excess kit in the heather at a strategically marked out spot, a young rowan tree, as it turns out there were hundreds of these but we found our gear on the descent without too much difficulty, mmm good job we took the tent! We were planning to spend the 2nd night in the bothy but even if we had extended our route we would still have ended up twiddling our thumbs for several hours and I don't go up to the Motherland to twiddle my thumbs! For a change we had overestimated our walking time in this case a circuit of Bynack More and Cairn Gorm. There was a point however when falling short gave way to clicking into place and that was very pleasing because mountains can be unforgiving places.
It seemed strange through our perceptive to have time on our side. The gradients seemed gentle, fairly effortless which we have never experienced in Scotland. This afforded us time to relax and take in some of the environs that the Cairngorms contained. That didn't take long we were soon overlooking Loch Claine a beautiful submarine emerald green eye. With the sun filtering through the tall pines it was hard to believe that the west coast weather was so different.
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| Loch Claine, an emerald eye. |
Throughout our 'Top Gear' expeditions our cuisine seems to get better and better the 'Breakfast bar' has been weighed in the balance and found deficient, in every aspect we continually upgrade. Food in packets designed for camping might not be immediately appealing but with coriander, chillies and now adding colour Tabasco and desiccated coconut we felt we had reached the zenith of outdoor eating especially with dishes like Chilli Con Carne, Vegetable Regatana and Chicken Tikka Marsala. Not bad for bivvying on the top of a mountain ! So as we sat down on some well positioned rocks, looking down Strath Nethy, munching away on our Anchovies and Octopus steak, I was getting quite attracted to the Cairngorms.
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| looking down Strath Nethy |
While it's true to say we didn't have to 'dig deep' and cultivate the 'throw the kitchen sink at it' attitude to reach the summit of Bynack More, it is obvious to the discerning hill walker that the Cairngorms do have a beauty all of their own. The rounded peaks may at first gravitate toward monotony but here is a giant Scottish Derbyshire in fact there was more than one reference to 'Mam Tor' a celebrated hill in the Peak District that has paving slabs leading all the way to the summit! Notwithstanding because of its high altitude over a vast area you have a chunk of the arctic in Scotland! A fascinating landscape with vast spacious views, in fact there are species of wild flower that grow in the Cairngorms that only flourish beyond the Arctic Circle! As we all shook hands and sat down on the summit of Bynack More the whole panorama looked quite pretty after a shot of Toms Dalmore!
It was certainly worth the short detour, 40 metres down on the east side to the 'little Barns of Bynack' and 'Barns of Bynack', a string of impressive granite castles, seemed well out of place in a spacious, heather clad windswept landscape. It was there that we deposited our kit, thought we might as well lighten up before we headed to the next peak ''A' Choineach''. As the evening light softened and the broad grassy ridges seemed to radiate towards the metallic blue sky, other features seemed to compete with each other for attention that hitherto had gone largely unnoticed in particular picturesque scree slopes and stunning mountain corries, among the best I've ever seen and the air was pure and fine. The shadows of the clouds seemed to dance on the velvet slopes like some kind of two dimensional Aurora Borealis. It was at this point about 9:0ish that I got the feeling "shouldn't we be off here by now?" What a wonderful feeling of isolation and exposure it felt like we three were the only souls around in this 200 square mile plateau that doesn't once drop below 810 metres!
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| Barns of Bynack |
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| strange looking granite Torrs |
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| our bivouac for the night |
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| layer of quartzite |
From the summit of 'A'Choineach' we were planning or sort of planning to reach the summit of Cairn Gorm but we didn't have time to do that. We did have a womble over to the saddle to take in the view of Loch Avon, a close competitor for the most remote loch in Scotland. Also observed the huge cliffs of Coire an Lochain where a glacier often forms in spring, complete with crevasses, serain and bergschrund! Impressive eh? I suspect it's a little bit ambitious myself.
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| a womble over the saddle to view Loch Avon |
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| Scotlands last suspected glacier |
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| Loch Avon, just! |
On the way back to the rocky torrs of Bynack we were interested to see how much snow was still around. Some of it had been sculpted into caves, one resembled a huge tunnel Tom and Chris put their heads down and walked through it, I vouched for the safer option and walked over the top!! By now the wind was getting up but it wasn't half as bad as I thought it was going to be, it didn't impede our walking. Tom rescued a little baby Ptarmigan having difficulty getting blown about by the wind. It responded well to Toms coaxing and seemed to lap up the fuss, we put it in a sheltered spot hoping it would regain vitality, sadly when we looked later the little bird had died . In eulogising my mind goes to the scripture that says ''Five sparrows sell for two coins of small value do they not? Yet not one of them goes forgotten before God''.
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| I chose to go over the top! |
Now it was on to the bivvy spot. As we retrieved our gear Tom remarked ''who's dropped that strawberry ?'' On bending down to examine it I noticed it was attached to a flower! Can you beat that, wild strawberries flourishing at 4,000 feet. Also noticed some very nice little purple orchids that at first glance resembled violets. Two things I didn't notice that were unusual for Scottish hills were deer and sheep. That only added to the notion that this was an empty land. Anyway, the bivvy, it was a well sheltered spot on the lee side of the rocky torrs, had just the right amount of overhang to provide shelter from rain, it did rain quite heavy in the night. We got shelter from the wind as well but one step out of the comfort zone and the wind would take you!
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| 3:45 a.m, morning has broken! |
A masterstroke of Toms was bringing his tarpaulin, hardly weighed anything and slotted nicely into his sack. Chris 'the Boy' insisted on bringing his stove to heat up his food. Tom being accommodating came up with a stroke of genius, we all gathered rocks to secure the tarpaulin to the ground leaving an opening at the front just big enough to get a stove in, perfect no wind and safe. Away we went eating like Lords again. The only downbeat thing that I have to mention is that at the time of eating, that is on the summit of a mountain we felt like we were dining at the' Wig and Mitre' but when at home I experimented with the same food and all the trimmings and quite frankly it did not taste good, tasted like it was out of a packet. My wife said that it tasted like dog food, I can't vouch for that as I've never tried dog food! Don't despair, the truth of the matter is - when you are tired after a day's walking on the hill this food goes through a 'metamorphic transubstantiation and tastes wonderful!
I surprisingly managed to sleep better on the summit of a mountain than in a bothy, reckon I must have clocked three hours, hard to say. It did feel very cold, it was hard to believe we were well into the month of July, as I got comfy in my sleeping bag and pulled the bivvy bag over my head, my blood pressure and body temperature dropped, I thought I could do with some thermals! During my periods of wake it was clearly noticeable that it never got dark even though it was far from a cloudless sky, it remained what we would call twilight. We got our heads down at about 10:00pm, were due to be up at 3:45 and walking for 4:00. I was fully awake from about 3:00, just laying there watching the clouds, it was quite therapeutic. It was finally time for the dawn chorus, gave the lads the obligatory rendition of ''Morning has Broken'' they feel very privileged to be awoken to such mellifluous tones.
We togged up and were walking for 4:00am as planned. The plan now was to get back to the car for 8:00ish have a wash and breakfast at Aviemore then head for the Spittal of Glen Muick in Deeside, a distance of some 60 odd miles to do Lochnaggar. You might be thinking "this is very civilized for the Top Gear team" and you're right to be honest but we must realize that this is the consolation prize and all these home comforts do go against the grain a bit! Anyhow between 4:00 and 6:00 is a lovely time of day to be walking, the whole world seemed to be at peace, just one big sleepy village. We caught the sunrise which illuminated the hills with a salubrious soft light, it was a pleasure to be walking in such circumstances. With the wind chill, we reckon, due to the effect on exposed flesh, it was about freezing point! Got back to the car at 8:00, none of us admitted it at the time but we were all carefully concealing the fact that we were pretty exhausted and the thought of doing another hill that day was daunting. Thoughts of an unplanned trip come back to mind, or were things clicking into place?
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| between 4 and 5:oo am beariful time of day in high summer |
It struck me as we arrived at the Spittal of Glen Muick that this area is so different from the west and north west Highlands. It seems as if they are struggling to keep the tin lid on commercial tourism, I suppose, to be fair this is by virtue of the fact that the area is so pretty. In fact 'pretty' is just how I would describe this area (Deeside and much of the Cairngorms). The north west coast I would designate 'wild and free', the west coast 'wild, free and beautiful', the north coast 'rugged' with some parts like the surface of the moon, way off the commercial spectrum. As with many things I decided to probe a little beneath the surface as to why so touristy, what did I find? Well here in Deeside and the Cairngorms one of my favourite little insects was noticeably absent that is the beloved MIDGE! Yes there are two reasons why the west coast hasn't become a tourist bottleneck, 1. The midge and 2. Foul weather. Here on Deeside we don't seem to be seeing too much of either! I'm still trying to get a t-shirt printed that has a greatly magnified picture of a midge on it and above the picture it says 'I love midges' and on the underneath it reads 'keep the highlands pure'. Sadly as yet I haven't found anybody willing to print it maybe more to the point nobody daft enough to wear it!
All of the preceding ramblings are for a purpose, a prelude that knocked us off our feet, we had to park in a 'pay and display' car park!!!!!!!!!! None of us had ever done that before in Scotland and didn't think we ever would. That was a bitter pill to swallow but swallow it we had to, this was Deeside. Lochnagar in fact was located entirely within the Balmoral estate.
I have to say in spite of all that, this is possibly the finest mountain I've ever done. By finest I mean: attractive features, pleasing to the eye, stunning mountain architecture, splendid views, nice approach walks and so forth. Case in point the approach walk and lower slopes are mantled by ancient pine woods which makes for enchanting walking. There was another point I was going to omit but might as well mention and that is that we observed several attractive female walkers which is not normally the case on the west coast, of course with the obvious exception of my gorgeous wife, yes there was definitely a different ambiance here. It was a little disconcerting the amount of people that kept overtaking us even little children mind you they maybe hadn't bivvied on a hill, spent four hours on the hill in the early hours, and had a couple of nights without hardly any sleep.
It was an eye opener when we saw the north eastern corrie come into view, this has inspired poets and artists alike, in fact I think the painting was inspired by Byron's poem. From there we climbed up what is known as 'The Ladder' (more references to Mam Tor) to the corrie rim. The true summit known as 'The Stuic' was about a mile or so further round. Tom called this part of track 'the motorway', there were so many people and a cairn about every 30 foot, I don't think you would have got lost blindfolded at night with the mist down!
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| Lochnagar, the 'stuic' |
At this point the weather changed instantly, a blanket of mist came down, somebody switched the wind machine on to a fierce 45 mph which made the massive raindrops even more hard hitting. What occurred next was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced, there we were huddled round a cairn, trying to take a reading for the summit cairn and wondering whether to return by the route of ascent or make a circuit of it when the mist lifted like a veil from before our eyes! There we were one minute not being able to see hand in front of us and in an instant, a crystal clear panorama in all directions! Incredible.
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| mist lifted like a veil before our eyes! |
The wind hadn't quite blown it's self out, I recall being on the summit cairn, located on the top of a granite tor, when the wind blew my camera bag right round and my Cell phone popped out the side pocket, landed on a rock about ten feet away and immediately fragmented into its four basic components. Thankfully Chris secured the erstwhile components on the rocky bluff. It was at this point I composed this little ditty...
''O I do like to be beside the Deeside
O I do like to be beside the Dee
'Twas a good job Chris was there
When my phone flew through the air
By the Deeside
By the Dee''.
Poetry is something you've either got or you haven't and I...
As I was trundling down this fine path I could sense that someone was behind me perhaps wanting to get past, I stepped aside visualising one or two people overtaking me, wanting to go a tad faster than Captain Slow! I was amazed when about 20 people passed before my very eyes, I waited for a gap and rejoined my place in the queue. It reminded me a bit of walking in the Lake District or maybe of being at Alton Towers!
So that was that. I still think we were robbed not being able to do the ''Saddle and Forcan ridge'' but I know as well as you do that those mountains will still be there tomorrow. My apologies if the whole blog sounds a bit flowery or twee, it's a funny thing how the human psyche can subordinate the negative things, I remember being on Bynack Mor just not being able to get warm, thinking how much longer have I got to lay here? Then I thought it's not going to be much longer until we're all back in the studio! That put it all in perspective for me as I've mentioned already, this was the consolation prize, only problem is, I wouldn't mind going back maybe to have a crack at Ben Avon or do some winter walking. Alexander Dumas once said ''one must look for one thing only to find many'' and that is how it seems, we've had a taste of the Cairngorms, now it would be good to explore it a little further.
As a concluding exhortation, not dissimilar from Charles Dickens in 'Hard Times' I would sincerely plead with anyone with two legs and a reasonable level of fitness to drag yourself away from Coronation Street or Match of the Day and get out there
Taste and see
Life is good
Run for the Hills!
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